Flo-Joe for Cambridge English Exams

Cambridge English: First

Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's FCE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback

Writing Class: Article


Task Type: Article

Question
You have seen the following advertisement in a magazine:

Film Weekly Top 100 films - the viewers choice
  • What is your favourite film of all time?
  • Why should it be in the top 100?
Write a short article about these questions and you could be published in our next issue.

Write your article for Film Weekly magazine (around 140-190 words).

Makeover: Barbara

Read Barabara's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

A Nightmare

Do you want to be frightened at - one night? The movie "Blair Witch Projekt 2" has begun WW in the cinema this week and especially the viewers, who saw part 1, know that it is a movie, which you will start shaking. WW

It is the continuation to part 1, which ends WT with a mystery: you did not know what happened with the group of teenagers. This time there is also a group of students, who want to try to solve the enigma about the "Blair Witch Projekt" again. The story takes place in the forest and in my view is this WO the main reason why you will be scared. The whole movie you can see the dark, lonely, large and mysterious forest and apart from that the character of the students change again and again and so you do not know who is the victim and who is the villain.

In my opinion it is a movie, which you will never forget, because it is not like others. T The movie is based on a 'low budget film' PE and so it is a special kind of entertainment. That is the reason why I am sure that it is a movie, P which can reach the Top 100 of the best movies. T

"Blair Witch Projekt 2" is allowed for WW people over the age of 15 and if you want to spend a fearful night then go to the cinema! My personal advice: Do not go on your own!

Feedback

This is a nice answer, Barbara. You give a good description of the film and the type of person who would enjoy seeing it. However, this question is not simply a film review, but an article about excellent films. Therefore, you need to refer to your reason for writing the article (i.e. your nomination for favourite film) early on in the first paragraph and perhaps avoid addressing the reader as 'you', as you would do in a film review, but instead talk more objectively about 'the audience'.
In terms of language I have the following comments:

  1. Your vocabulary shows a good range for the task.
  2. Do some revision, maybe from a grammar book, on relative clauses and punctuation as this appears to be a weak area.
Best of luck for the exam!

 

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word