Flo-Joe for Cambridge English Exams

Cambridge English: First

Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's FCE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback

Writing Class: Formal Letter


Task Type: Letter of Application

Question
You have seen the following job advertisement on the noticeboard of your local language school:

CLUB ORGANISER NEEDED!
(Monday and Wednesday evenings only)
Our language school is looking for a person to help organise a Film Club for students of English. Our Film Club will meet twice a week to watch a film in English followed by a discussion of the film.
  • Do you have some knowledge of English?
  • Do you like working with groups of people?
  • Are you interested in films?
If you think you would be a suitable person to organise our Film Club then we would like to hear from you. Please send a letter to the school owner saying why you are suitable for the job.

Write your letter of application to the school owner (around 140-190 words).

Makeover: Ana

Read Ana's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

Dear Sir or Madam

I am writing to you concerning the job advertisement, which I saw on the noticeboard of /\ local language school.

There was told WW that you need a person to help to organise a Film Club for students of English.

I think that I am a suitable person for this job. Gd First of all, I have been studying English for five years and have lived in London for six months. Gd I speak English quite well. Secondly, I like working with people very much, I like speaking about and discussing with them any things. PE And at last PE I love watching movies very much too. I often go to the cinemas with friends and then we usually discuss the movie, so I had WT a little practise. WF

That is all what I wanted to say. If you want R to know more about me do not hesitate to write to me.

Yours Faithfully

Ana Abesadze

Feedback

Ana, this is a good realisation of the task. You sound convincing to the reader and I am sure you would be offered an interview based on what you have written! I particularly liked your good control of grammatical tenses and the way you have organised the letter and used an appropriate beginning and ending.
I have corrected a couple of errors and made a single suggestion to show the examiner you have a broad range of vocabulary.

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word