Flo-Joe for Cambridge English Exams

Cambridge English: First

Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's FCE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback

Writing Class: Article


Task Type: Article

Question
You have seen the following competition in an magazine for young people:

"In your experience what are the benefits and drawbacks of learning another language? Is is something you would recommend to ALL young people?"

If we publish your article you will win a prize of fifty pounds!

Write your article for the magazine (around 140-190 words).

Makeover: Gabriel

Read Gabriel's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

Learning foreign languages is necessary nowadays because the world works like an international community and it is important to know how to communicate with each other. Gd

I come from Brazil and I speak portuguese C as my native language. However I can speak a litle bit of spanish C as well.

First of all foreign languages can be very useful when you are abroad on holidays and when you need to speak with people from other nationalities. Secondly the Internet have WF information in all kinds of languages but most of it is in english C and also /\ is good to have friends in other countries and try to communicate with them by email. Finally if you want to work in the business sector or in many others like tourism you must know at least others languages PE apart from your own.

But not all is perfect. PE Even that learning is so important, PE it is not easy to become a master in a language or to start speaking fluently. What is more, /\ is difficult to maintain a lot of new things in your head especially when you are young (I know this because I'm 16). Other WW thing that is important to raise is that the costs to learn another language are very expensive /\ therefore /\ is not everybody that can afford it.

I think it is very important to learn a different language because /\ will help you a lot in the future when you are looking for a job. It's also a good idea to start learning when you are young when you don't need to worry with WW adult things like: bills, job, house etc and /\ is very interesting to learn other cultures and customs from other countries.

Feedback

This is a good article, Gabriel. The organisation and coverage of all the points is splendid and it was also interesting to read. You use connecting phrases, such as 'first of all', 'what is more', etc. to link all the different points you make about the pros and cons of learning another language.
Your language control is good overall. I have highlighted some spelling mistakes (typing errors?) and rephrased certain phrases that didn't sound quite natural. Try to avoid the common error of missing out the 'it' when it's like a subject, e.g. '... it is very interesting...', and (finally) remember that languages have capital letters in English.

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word