Flo-Joe for Cambridge English Exams

Cambridge English: First

Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's FCE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback

Writing Class: Report


Task Type: Report

Question
A magazine is carrying out research into facilities for young people.

We are putting together a list of facilities for young people in your area in a number of different categories, including:
  • Sports centres
  • Museums and art galleries
  • Clubs and societies for young people
Please send us a short report about one of the above, in which you give
  1. a brief description of the facility
  2. your views
  3. any recommendations

Write your report for the magazine (around 140-190 words).

Makeover: Zehra

Read Zehra's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

The Science Museum - Technorama

Technorama is a technical Centre in Winterthur. The motto of this Centre is: "Nothing will happen, unless you make it happen." In this museum you can touch almost everything you want. And you can explore technical phenomena with your five senses. Gd

Lots of technical experiments can be done by visitors themselves. So it is also very interesting for children and teenagers. The museum has today 500 experiments about natural science.

When I was there the first time I catched WW a lot of important points about Physics. It is wonderful how you can learn by playing with experiments. Sometimes there are also demonstrations which are very impressive.

You can visit this museum with your family, with friends or even with your school class and your teacher. You can spend your hole S afternoon for an excursion in the Technorama. I said hole afternoon because you need really time to visit the museum. PE When you get hungry, there is also a restaurant where you can eat and drink something.

I recommend this Science Museum for those who are interested in Physics, Chemistry and mathematics.

Feedback

Well done, Zehra. You answer the question really well and the reader would be informed by your report. Your grammatical control is good - in fact, there are hardly any grammatical errors - and your range of vocabulary is pleasing. The only suggestion I will make is that you should think about using headings for each of your sections. For example 'Introduction', 'Facilities', 'Suggestions' and 'Conclusion'. A good answer!

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word