Cambridge English: First
Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's FCE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
Writing Class: Report
Task Type: Report
Question
A magazine is carrying out research into facilities for young people.
We are putting together a list of facilities for young people in your area in a number of different categories, including:
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Write your report for the magazine (around 140-190 words).
Makeover: Zehra
Read Zehra's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
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The Science Museum - Technorama Technorama is a technical Centre in Winterthur. The motto of this Centre is: "Nothing will happen, unless you make it happen." In this museum you can touch almost everything you want. And you can explore technical phenomena with your five senses. Gd Lots of technical experiments can be done by visitors themselves. So it is also very interesting for children and teenagers. The museum has today 500 experiments about natural science. When I was there the first time I catched WW You can visit this museum with your family, with friends or even with your school class and your teacher. You can spend your hole S I recommend this Science Museum for those who are interested in Physics, Chemistry and mathematics. |
Feedback
Content
Well done, Zehra. You answer the question well and the reader would be informed by your report. You have focussed on ONE facility as required, given your views of the museum and stated who you think would enjoy it, so a full answer.
Communicative Achievement
You have written the report in a neutral register with a friendly tone. The reader would be fully engaged throughout.
Organisation
The report is clearly organised with a logical use of paragraphs. Although it's not obligatory, you should think about using headings for each of your sections. For example 'Introduction', 'Facilities', 'Suggestions' and 'Conclusion'. This will show you appreciate the format of a report and how it might differ from an article for example.
Language
Your grammatical control is good - in fact, there are hardly any grammatical errors - and your range of vocabulary is pleasing.
Well done!
Marking Code
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
C Capitalization
Gd Good
O Organisation
P Punctuation
PE Poorly expressed
R Register/Formality
SS Sentence Structure
S Spelling
T Tip
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word