Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's FCE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
You have seen the following announcement in an international magazine for 16-25 year olds:
'Young people are spending more time each day on their computers than watching television. Is this a change for the better?'We are interested in your views on this topic. You can contribute to the debate by sending us a short article with your opinion.
Write your article for the magazine (around 140-190 words).
Read Irina's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
Before addressing the question of what is better for young people, I would like to remind PE
At the other side WW
With the help of computers young people can meet new friends, find out a lot of information, /\
Television can't give such an opportunity.
Precisely here is found the crux of the problem. T
For my part, I spend a lot of time on my computer (learning English and working). But when I want to relax I'd rather watch TV with my friends than loiter away WW time sitting alone in front of the computer!
This is a really interesting essay, Irina. I enjoyed reading your views on the internet and the effect it is having on young people. You are ambitious in your choice of vocabulary and grammatical structures, which is very good for an examiner to see at this level (FCE). Just occasionally, your expression misses the mark but the changes I have made are relatively minor. Be careful not to miss out the final 'and' when you are listing points.
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
PE Poorly expressed
SS Sentence Structure
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word