Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CAE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
You see the following announcement on a website that sells books and film videos:
|Submit a review of one of our books or film videos that you have enjoyed recently, and get 10% off your next purchase!
Tell our website users what it's about and what type of person it would most appeal to.
Write your review for the website users. (Between 220 and 260 words)
Read Farah's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
Fall in New York P
A young girl who suffers WT
Richard Gere as the male main character doesn't disappoint performing a "type" very suitable to him. He knows how to seduce and delight the female audience with his charm. Gd
Though it is quite a predictable story, the film was directed with such gentleness that it touched my heart. Gd
This has all the ingredients of a good review, Farah, and your style is spot-on. I thought the range of your vocabulary was particularly good and your grammatical control is splendid on the whole.
For the makeover, I reworded some expressions that didn't sound completely natural e.g. 'full of joy girl' and 'goes for it open-hearted'.
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
PE Poorly expressed
SS Sentence Structure
T Tip (Not wrong but a suggestion)
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word