See a sample student informal email answer to a CAE (Cambridge English Advanced) questions with feedback

Writing Class: Informal Email

Task Type: Informal Email

Question
This is part of an email you have received from an English-speaking friend, who will be visiting your home town for a short stay:

What a pity you won't be around when we arrive. Anyway, we'll only be there for one day and I was wondering whether you could recommend a couple of local restaurants. Something that caters for families would be great ... we eat anything!

Write the email to your friend recommending two local restaurants. (Between 220-260 words)

Makeover: Joy

Read Joy's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

Hi Kim

Great to hear from you! I’m so sorry I won’t be able to be around when you arrive. I really have to go to that compulsory further training I told you about. I wish I could see you and your gorgeous little family. But I’m sure you guys will have a great time here in Chur! So, which restaurant should I recommend you -

I would probably go for the 'Sommerau'. Just been there last week. WT They’ve got a huge terrace and a nice little playground outside. Your kids would be happy to play there after eating some really good food. The restaurant is famous for cooking extravagant seasonal dishes. But they serve you whatever you want. Of course they’ve got some awesome extra kids-menus. I really love the friendly staff there and the lovely WW arranged food always makes me super-happy. The only drawback might be the prices. They are a little higher than elsewhere, but I’d say it /\ well worth it.

The other great tipp S is the 'Akrusi'. It’s kind of a fast food restaurant but slightly different. They do not sell burgers but all kind WF of sausages, salads and pasta. Kids love it! You do get special offers for families and the food is really fantastic. I highly recommend the avocado-mint-salad. Gd

Well, I hope you do like one of those and wish you an enjoyable day! Give my love to your family! Gd

Speak to you soon,

Joy

Feedback

Content
The task was completed fully and appropriately. You have recommended two restauants and given a clear outline of what each is like, including how well they cater for children.

Communicative Achievement
Ideas are communicated clearly and the email is written in a very authentic style, using an informal, chatty register throughout. This is achieved by missing words out 'Great to hear from you', use of exclamations, and some nicely chosen vocabulary.

Organisation
The email is very well organised. Paragraphs are clear and cohesive devices are used effectively.

Language
An very good range of everyday and more advanced vocabulary is used. A very good range of simple and more advanced grammatical forms are used. Errors are present but do not impede communication.  There are some lovely choices of informal vocabulary such as

your gorgeous little family
you guys
super-happy
well worth it.

Well done!

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip (Not wrong but a suggestion)

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word

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Cambridge English: Advanced