Flo-Joe for Cambridge English Exams

Cambridge English: Advanced

Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CAE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback

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Writing Class: Letter of Application

Task Type: Letter of Application

Question
A tourist company which organises coach tours of your home town has placed the following advertisement in your local newspaper:

TOUR GUIDES REQUIRED

Are you an outgoing and sociable person, who has a good command of English and some knowledge of local history?
Take-a-Tour is setting up a branch in your area and we are looking for tour guides to accompany up to fifty passengers a time on our coach tours. Your duties will include welcoming passengers aboard the coach, giving a commentary about the local sights, and taking small groups around the town on foot.

Write the letter of application

Makeover: Sato

Read Sato's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

I am writing to reply to your advertisement for the WW tour guide in The Tokyo Mini Times on 13th January.

I am always interested in WT working with tourists and this is one of the main reason WF why I am applying for this job. I actually have some experience of guiding foreign people around the town as a volunteer. Therefore, the city council sometimes asks me to take people to some historical places and explain about the background. Once I have organised WT a sightseeing tour that thirty people took part in. Every time I have a chance to do that, they appreciate my explanations. I think I will be a competent guide.

I have been living in this town since I was born. My ancestors came to live here two hundred years ago thus I know how this town has developed. I think I will manage to give a unique speech to the tourists. Gd

I passed the Cambridge Certificate in Advanced English last year, which I believe endorses my English ability. As far as I am concerned, this level is suitable for a tour guide.

I am available to start work on 15th February. I am also available to attend an interview in the afternoon on Monday to Thursday. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need any further information. Gd

I would be very grateful if you consider my application. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need any further information. Gd

Yours Faithfully,

Feedback

This is good letter of application, Sato. The layout and organisation are appropriate, and the letter contains information about yourself that is tailored to the reader and the task. (I'm sure that the employer would consider you as a possible candidate for the job based on what you have written.)
In terms of language, you are successful in adopting a suitably formal register. On a couple of occasions you have chosen the wrong verb tense, and there are also some spelling (typing?) errors. Make sure you take the opportunity of proofreading your work so that you don't lose marks unnecessarily. Overall, however, this is a competent answer to the task. Well done.

 

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip (Not wrong but a suggestion)

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word

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