Flo-Joe for Cambridge English Exams

Cambridge English: Proficiency

Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CPE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback

Writing Class: Review


Task Type: Review

Question
A magazine that you subscribe to is interested in reader reviews based on the following topic:

"What websites could you not live without?"

Write a detailed review of two or three websites that you use on a regular basis. You should explain the reasons why you visit the websites and comment on what you like (and dislike) about them.

Write the review for the magazine editor. (around 280 - 320 words)

Makeover: Irina

Read Irina's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

Time management is one of my priorities. Sometimes I have to try hard to save time for just a quiet evening with a good book. I don’t like traditional shopping very much, for me it’s generally a waste of time and a fight with vendors who try to impose something on you. Thank goodness we have such life-hack websites as Ozon.ru and Bonprix.

“Ozon” used to be an Internet bookstore, but now it’s more of a mega mall where you can buy almost everything. Apart from books, CDs and DVDs there are shoes, clothes, cosmetics, food and whatnot. When I needed a new drill and a screwdriver, they delivered them to my door for free, because I am a loyal customer. A week ago I bought a healthy snack bar in the gym, which was quite expensive, but then I found the same kind T, WW on Ozon.ru. It was a real bargain and I bought two boxes! Once I took a risk and bought an item of clothing - the result was perfect. The shirt fitted, the colour suited, and I decided to take the next step.

Bonprix is the website for clothes shopping. Some might consider buying clothes online too strange, but I can assure (/\) WM - you just need some experience. For me, the problem was to find plain, basic clothes. The necessity to deal with vendors who are not much interested in your needs made me sick, and I took the plunge. Now I just go to (/\) WM Bonprix website, browse and pick. Sizes are correct most of the times WF but you can always return or exchange a piece of clothing if something is wrong. I myself never tried WT to do so though, didn’t have to WT

Both the websites provide a delivery to a PickPoint postal machine. Those machines are everywhere, and you can collect your order when convenient. So, I would encourage everyone to use those two websites.

Feedback

A very well-written review which answered the question fully and was written in very natural, advanced English. The tone is suitably neutral. You could have considered using more in the way of contractions to create an informal tone, but this is a matter of choice rather than a problem. Most of the suggestions I have made are just that: suggestions. There were very few mistakes as such. Well done!

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word