Cambridge English: Proficiency
Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CPE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
Writing Class: Essay
Task Type: Essay
Question
Read the two texts below.
Write an essay summarising and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible and include your own ideas in your answers.
| Tackling Traffic Congestion Policy-makers employ a wide range of measures to tackle the problem of traffic congestion. Enforcement schemes such as setting strict speed limits on major roads and the use of congestion charges in city centres are two such examples as are vehicle exclusion zones or parking restrictions in busy pedestrian areas. However, it also makes sense to encourage motorists to become less reliant on their car. This can be achieved by making public transport more efficient and promoting the benefits of car-sharing with work colleagues, thus reducing weekly fuel bills. And the increasing number of cycle lanes on many roads is further evidence of how to win the hearts and minds of motorists in the fight against congestion. |
| The Joy of Motoring Recent research into the attitudes of motorists shows we are still more than happy to get behind the wheel. Despite rising fuel costs, insurance premiums and frequent traffic jams, 9 out of 10 of us still enjoy driving. Whether it’s visiting friends and relations, taking the family for a day out or even commuting to work, the car remains first choice for many people. Experts argue that unlike public transport, the car leaves us in charge of our own destiny, giving us the freedom to travel when and where we want. The car also gives us the opportunity to express ourselves. The kind of vehicle we drive tells the world something about who we are or what we aspire to be. Cars are not simply a means of transport but also something we wear. |
Write the essay. (around 240 - 280 words)
Makeover: Kate
Read Kate's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
|
Cars are one of the most popular means of transport nowadays. They are used everywhere in the world by people of different income, age, social status and occupation. This essay deals with the question of driving a car, summarizing and evaluating the ideas expressed in the texts above. Both texts speak about T, WW Unlike the first text, the second one looks on WW To sum it - |
Feedback
Content
This is a full and appropriate response. You’ve summarised the texts accurately and done so using your own words. The latter is very important as candidates aren’t awarded marks for chunks of text taken from the question. You’ve also offered views of your own.
Communicative Achievement
A very good command of the conventions of an essay is demonstrated. Ideas are communicated clearly. The style adopted is suitably academic and would have a positive effect on the reader.
Organisation
The essay is a well organised coherent whole. Paragraphs are used effectively with an introduction, two main body paragraphs dealing with each extract and a concluding remark. You have used a range of cohesive devices and organisational patterns.
Language
A good use of general and more advanced vocabulary. A good range of grammatical forms are used. Very minor errors, mostly to do with vocabulary choices, do not lead to a breakdown in communication.
Well done!
Marking Code
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
C Capitalization
Gd Good
O Organisation
P Punctuation
PE Poorly expressed
R Register/Formality
SS Sentence Structure
S Spelling
T Tip
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word