Flo-Joe for Cambridge English Exams

Cambridge English: Proficiency

Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CPE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback

Writing Class: Proposal


Task Type: Proposal

Question
The following comments were made during a discussion by members of the training department at your company about whether or not the department should replace classroom-based training with online training. Your manager has asked you to write a proposal on implementing online training, including: the benefits, the pitfalls and what your recommendation(s) would be:

Comments

"Just-in-time training is great - it can take place anywhere, even in bed!"
"The company will save money by getting rid of our traditional way of training."
"Will our employees miss the interaction with a real person?"

Write the proposal for your manager. (around 280 - 320 words)

Makeover: Jana

Read Jana's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

Based on a discussion by members of the training department, about whether or not the department should replace classroom - based training with online training, this proposal has been written. WO

1. Benefits from online training

Establishing online training, which would replace classical classroom - based training, would reduce training costs to a minimum. Not only costs in the form of teachers' salaries but also hiring rooms, paying electricity and studying materials would be dropped. PE

Online training is preferred to the classroom for its flexibility as well. Those who would WW take part in it would appreciate the chance of accessing it at any time of day according to their possibilities. WW

Online training is evidently the most prefered way of learning for it does not require any travelling costs and is very convenient. Considering that it is accessible from home, it saves much time for those who are busy travelling from meeting to meeting.

2. Online training disadvantages

In spite of the fact that online training is a very modern and favourite way of supplying with information, WW it may carry certain disadvantages. PE Setting it up can be very expensive. A well elaborated PE programme with a plan for studying must be worked out.

In addition to paying big sum of money to programators, the way of learning itself could evoke negative reaction by learners. PE

Even if the employees welcomed new, modern ways of training they may not have computers at home. This fact would increase costs considerably.

Moreover, the company must decide which skills are suitable for learning online. Obviously, some skills require life WF discussions and immediate contact with the trainer.

Recommendations

The best way to set up a new, valuable and also quality training programme is to combine both online and classroom one. WW The suggestion, based on successful experience, is to start training which would consist of online training - 80 per cent - and classroom training - 20 per cent. Employees would be present at sessions that would take one and half hour every two weeks.

Improving the company's image

Improving the company's image is the aim of each firm. New, modern as well as favourite ways of training employees will improve the image of the company. Those employees, who take part in training and do not own computers are supposed to be WW supplied to them by the company itself. Taking this action helps improving WF the good name of the company. Last but not least, the employees can be offered the chance to buy the computers they were borrowed by deducting the cost from their salary.

Feedback

Jana, you have made a fair attempt at this task. It is appropriately organised and all the points you have made are valid ones. Your main language area to watch is vocabulary as you have, on a number of occasions, selected a word or phrase that is not quite right. If you are intending to take the CPE and would like to focus on this area then may I suggest reading as much as you can in English. It really will improve your ability to select the right word, I promise!

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word