Cambridge English: Proficiency
Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CPE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
Writing Class: Review
Task Type: Review
Question
Your local newspaper is asking its readers to write a review of a restaurant that they have eaten at recently and would recommend to others:
| "Which restaurant would you recommend?" |
Write your review of the restaurant and the meal that you ate there, and describe some or all of the following points: the atmosphere, attitude of the staff, the quality of the service and whether the restaurant is good value for money.
Write the review for the newspaper readership. (around 280 - 320 words)
Makeover: Koichi
Read Koichi's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
|
The Kubota Restaurant has a long held a reputation for being one of the most atmospheric eateries in the region
because the house is built T
My girlfriend and I arrived at 5.30pm on a Friday for our pre-booked /\ WM The course menu started with a fresh salad of avocado and salmon. Its taste was T, WF The waiting staff was WF |
Feedback
Content
All content is relevant to the task. You have covered the atmosphere, attitude of the staff, the quality of the service and whether the restaurant is good value for money, so a full answer.
Communicative Achievement
You have written the piece in the style of a review of a restaurant. The register is suitably neutral. You could have considered using more in the way of contractions to create an informal tone, but this is a matter of choice rather than a problem.
Organisation
The review is very clearly and logically organised. Each of the four paragraphs deal with a specific point. You have used simple linking devices such as 'and', 'but', and a range of well-constructed relative clauses.
Language
A good piece of writing. You have shown your ability to use grammatical structures and topic vocabulary to express simple and more complex ideas well. Most of the suggestions I have made are just that: suggestions. There were very few mistakes as such. Check for missing words in future.
Well done!
Marking Code
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
C Capitalization
Gd Good
O Organisation
P Punctuation
PE Poorly expressed
R Register/Formality
SS Sentence Structure
S Spelling
T Tip
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word