Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CPE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
You are looking through the alumni newsletter of a school that you once attended and you see the following announcement:
|What are your best and worst school memories? Write in and tell us and we will publish the most interesting articles in our next newsletter.|
Write the article for the editor of the alumni newsletter. (around 280 - 320 words)
Read Kyung's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
My best and worst school memories
It is not a closely-guarded secret, but school was more about suffering than joy for me. But when I have to recall my best and worst experience in school, there are two events, which left a significant imprint on me. Gd
The most intensive experience I made WW
My best memory is of the time when we had a soccer match against another school outside our hometown. We were all full of tension and willing WW
There are many memories I have stored in mind, but those two are the most valuable events of my school career.
A very full and thoughtful answer to the question. You have provided an interesting account of your best and worst memories. You've also included a title, which is good practice with an article. You've written this in an engaging style and the audience would enjoy reading it. It is organised clearly and with a logical progression. Paragraphs are used effectively and linking words and discourse markers help the reader follow your train of thought.
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
PE Poorly expressed
SS Sentence Structure
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word