Flo-Joe for Cambridge English Exams

Cambridge English: Proficiency

Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CPE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback

Writing Class: Essay

Task Type: Essay

Read the two texts below.
Write an essay summarising and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible and include your own ideas in your answers.

The Downside of Tourism
Despite the importance of the tourism industry to local economies there are significant costs to being a popular holiday destination. Local cultures can suffer as the needs of the tourist are given priority. For example, local shops can be demolished to make way for larger retail developments. In addition, the negative effects on the environment are well documented. Areas suffering from scarce water, food and energy resources can see the situation deteriorate with the extra demand caused by an influx of tourists. There will often be a physical impact as well, with increases in local pollution or the effect on the eco-system of large-scale construction. More significantly, the generation of income for the local economy is often lower than envisaged. The majority of income can often go to multi-nationals such as airline companies and hotel chains.
Recent years have seen a growth in what is termed 'eco-tourism'. The aim of eco-tourism is to unite conservation and communities through sustainable travel. So what are the key elements of eco-tourism? In addition to minimizing the impact of tourism on the environment, successful eco-tourism should also raise the awareness of cultural and environmental issues amongst the local host destination and the visiting tourist. Eco-tourism should be a positive experience for the local community as well as the tourist. Finally, eco-tourism should offer clear financial benefits to local people and to local conservation issues.

Write the essay. (around 240 - 280 words)

Makeover: Tammo

Read Tammo's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.

Tourism: new trends and the cost of popularity -

The tourism industry is in a state of flux Gd . Countries are competing for tourists by investing in their holiday destinations and thus making them more attractive and diverse. However, tourism needs to be carefully managed to prevent harm to the environment and disruption to local communities and its economy. The possible disadvantages of tourism on the one hand and new types of sustainable tourism on the other are discussed and contextualised in the two extracts. Gd

The issues touched upon in the first text are threefold: important projects for local communities might be sidelined as the focus is on infrastructure developments for tourists, the situation in environmental problem zones may be exacerbated by, for example, water cycle damage and on top of that, the profits of tourism often are WO not for the benefit of the local population. Instead global players such as hotels or airlines walk off with their pockets full. Gd

The flaws of tourism are contrasted by trends such as eco-tourism P which aims at reducing the impact that tourism has on naturally beautiful environments. Eco-tourism is based upon the idea that the natural environment and local communities are not exploited by tourism. All tourism projects are designed in cooperation with local communities. SS Infrastructure improvements have to benefit local inhabitants and not just tourists.

Tourism nowadays has to be seen in the context of climate change and declining natural resources. Some remote islands or regions located on the shore may disappear in the foreseeable future Gd due to rising sea levels. We should do our utmost to put off such a bleak scenario by travelling responsibly, avoiding long-distance flights as much as we can, protecting resources by not taking too many showers, eating local food and drink and not using air-conditioning into the bargain. It is about time we heed these guidelines. Otherwise we will be the ones experiencing the devastating consequences first hand. Gd


This is a full answer to the task. The key points of each text have been dealt with accurately and views of your own are included. All content is relevant to the task. It's written in the style of an academic text with the appropriate level of formality. The reader would be engaged and fully informed of the key points. The essay is logically organised with a clear and effective introduction and conclusion and two distinct main body paragraphs. Discourse markers and cohesive devices are used effectively. You’ve used a wide range of vocabulary, including less common lexis, with fluency, precision and style. Your use of grammar is sophisticated, fully controlled and completely natural.
Well done!

Marking Code

/\ Word(s) missing

- Omit word

C Capitalization

Gd Good

O Organisation

P Punctuation

PE Poorly expressed

R Register/Formality

SS Sentence Structure

S Spelling

T Tip

WF Wrong form

WO Word order

WT Wrong tense

WW Wrong word