Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CPE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
You have recently read an article from a youth magazine on the problem of inactivity in young people. The magazine has invited its readers to respond to the topic by writing a short article of their own, which answers the following questions:
|Why are our young people becoming 'couch potatoes', and what can we do to solve the problem?|
You should focus on young people in your country (or a country that you know well).
Write the article for the readers of the magazine. (around 280 - 320 words).
Read Marta's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
A packet of crisps lying on the floor, a half-eaten pizza on the coffee table and lots of CDs, DVDs and video games all over the place, is all that parents see every time we get home from work. Gd
But, why /\
Here, we have to look at new technologies. Not only have they been crucial in the development of medicine or the motor industry but they have also led to a changing WF
However, is technology the one which has to be blame for that? PE
Lets do something before it is to late...
...oops! 7 p.m., time for my favourite TV programme, which I will watch for the next 3 hours while having dinner -I don't remember the last time we ate at the dining table!-, after TV maybe a bit of the Internet... Ouch, what an awful backache! I should join a gym,... next month perphaps...
A very good attempt at this question Marta. With a lovely eye-catching start, you go on to give a clear outline of the effects of our passive lifestyle and offered practical suggestions as to how this might be changed. You have also, in the main, written in accurate, polished language with examples of excellent sentence structure and an appropriately informal register. However, one crucial point to bear in mind: at 385 words this exceeds the 300-350 word length for CPE. Cutting the last paragraph would be an easy way to solve this here, but you should certainly get into the habit of writing the appropriate number of words.
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
PE Poorly expressed
SS Sentence Structure
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word