Writing Paper: Part 2
Task type: Informal letter

Question
You have received the following letter from your English penfriend.

I'm really pleased you're planning to come to England to study. Let me know what type of course you're interested in and I'll ring some colleges for details. The more information you can give me the better!

Write your letter of reply to your penfriend (around 120-180 words).

Answer
Click on the underlined words or phrases for comments. The numbers in brackets offer suggestions. General feedback appears below the essay.

Name: Stefano Petrelli

School: British Council Milan

Dear Mark,

as I told you in my last letter I had begun an English course three months ago and by now I have had a good result but I think it would be better for me coming to England to have an advanced course of about three weeks for definitely improve {1} my English pronunciation and vocabulary.

I'd really prefer a morning course. {2} This is because in the afternoons i want to have enough free time to spend with you.{3}

Secondly, I also need an {4} accomodation durind my stay in York preferably in a host family that will help me to speak English in the everyday life. {5}

But it would be great if I can stay with you and your falt mates {6} as you wrote me in your last letter.

Thirdly, I need two ask you two more questions.

First, have you got any idea of how much I have to pay {7} for the course?

Second, do you think it is possible to get a part time job for about three or four days a week?

I thank you in advance for all your help and let me know first{8} about the fee and the accomodation.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Best wishes,

Stefano

Feedback

This is a very good letter, Stefano. In it you give a description of the type of course you are looking for and the location, as well as clearly stating your accommodation needs. (Your friend would have enough information from this letter to be able to help you.)
The letter is well organised but you should have no more that three paragraphs. There is no need to start a new line for each sentence. The beginning and ending of the letter is appropriate and the tone of the letter is very polite - good!
In terms of language accuracy, the main problem appears to be spelling (or typing) errors. Make sure you get into the habit of proofreading your work carefully, both in the classroom and in the exam. Apart from that you seem to show good language control and have a nice turn of phrase.

Good luck in the Writing Paper!
Fiona Joseph
25.5.01

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