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Writing
Paper: Part 2 Question
Write your report. (about 250 words) |
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Answer Click on the underlined words or phrases for comments. The numbers in brackets offer suggestions. General feedback appears below the essay. |
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School: British Council, Poland Threats to the environment in Poland Introduction The aim of this report is to describe the greatest dangers for the natural environment in Poland. Water One of the biggest sources of water pollution are fertilisers. Most of it with rain water floats from fields into rivers and further on into the Baltic Sea. Fertilisers are causing the overgrow {1} of seaweed, which leads to lack of oxygen in the sea and {***} {2}extinction of a number of water species. Air Slask is a region of Poland of{3} the poorest air quality. {***} {4}High concentration of ashes and sulphur dioxide from factories is causing acid rains, which damage soil and all species of plants. The solution, which is the installation of filters reducing the emission of harmful substances into air, does not solve the problem. This is because of the fact that Slask is placed in one of the most industrialised regions of Europe and of strong winds that occur there and bring pollution from other countries and otherwise{5}. Conclusion These are only few of the dangers for the environment in Poland. Many actions to solve this problem has already been taken but this is obvious that they will not have any bigger {6} effect, unless the governments and average citizens cooperate. |
| Feedback This was getting to be a really interesting essay when it suddenly finished! You are about 30 words short of the word limit of 250 words you should be aiming for, so you have room to add a couple of sentences to round this off. I would have liked to know more about the role the government AND individuals could play in solving environmental problems. In terms of language, you are successful in achieving a formal, academic style that is just right for this type of writing task. You are also well-informed on the topic, which is why I was enjoying it so much! The layout and organisation are also appropriate. All in all, this was interesting to read. Just remember in the exam to make the most of the number of words you're allowed to write. Good luck! Fiona Joseph 8.5.01 |
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