|
(Exit) |
|
Writing
Paper: Part 2 Question
Write the letter of application (about 250 words). |
|
Answer Click on the underlined words or phrases for comments. The numbers in brackets offer suggestions. General feedback appears below the essay. |
|
Name: Olga
I am writing with reference to your advertisement for the position of a Restaurant Manager, which was placed in The Guardian on 10 December.{1} My reason for being interested in this vacancy is that according to what is said by the executives of the companies I worked for (please find enclosed their letters of reference), I am particularly efficient {***} {2} being involved in projects requiring a great deal of physical and mental energy and also creativity. Your restaurant would benefit from these personal qualities of mine brought into play.{3} I am sure that I would be successful in this post as I have now gained the {***} {4} managerial experience having had work as a Senior Manager for the "Little Chef Restaurant" for 10 years. At present I work for the restaurant mentioned above, where my responsibilities comprise dealing with suppliers and corporate clients, recruiting employees and checking {***} {5} financial statements of affiliated companies. My academic background (a Masters Degree in Tourism & Hospitality) would also prove valuable to you. Please could you send me an application form and any other relevant details including those of payment {6}, working hours, health scheme and social facilities{7}? I am able to attend an interview on any day from 11 a. m. Should you need any further information, do not hesitate to contact me on 222333222 from 9 a.m. to 5 a.m. {8} or {***} {9}olga_mail_2000@yahoo.com. Yours faithfully, Olga Smith. |
| Feedback This is a well-organised letter of application which shows good attention to achieving an appropriately formal register (e.g. 'I am writing with reference to...'; 'Should you need any further information...' etc). You include all of the necessary information for this type of letter. For the makeover, there wasn't a great deal for me to correct. I have made a (small) number of suggestions that would make your letter sound very natural, but these are mostly quite minor quibbles! Good luck for the CAE. I hope you pass it! Fiona Joseph 16.1.01 |
| Exit
|