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Writing Paper: Part 2
Task type: Discursive composition

Question
In your English class you have been discussing the pros and cons of different types of transport. For your homework your teacher has asked you to write a composition giving your reaction to the following statement:

 

"Cars should be banned from the centres of all major cities."


Write your composition for your teacher (around 120-180 words).



Name: Gabriela Balagiu

School: "George Calinescu" Highschool, Constanza, Romania

Nowadays, most of the people{1} have their own car. In a survey that was made {2} {***} here in Romania, most of those who were questioned said that they couldn't live without a car. It would be too difficult for them to go somewhere {3} because of the madding crowd.

It's true that cars are a must in people's life, but in {4} the same time they are a major factor of pollution. What people haven't thought about is that 1 car pollute less the air {5} than 20 cars. So, it's more convinient to use public transport instead of your own car, if you do think about the {6} nature and the air you breath {7} every second.

Another problem are the frequent traffic jams that happen mostly because of careless drivers or because of the rush hours. No one would like to be in the centre of Bucharest at hours like {8} 7 a.m. or 4 p.m. because it would be like throwing yourself into a labyrinth you could hardly manage to get out of.{9}

People should use more public transport {10} than their own car, first of all because it would be cheaper, second of all {11} because it would reduce {***} pollution rate by aproximately 80% and the city it would be also less noisy. All these improvements would make our life much easier, because an unpolluted air{12} makes our bodies healthier and we can do as much physical effort as usual, but with less energy consumed.



Feedback

Gabriela, this is a good attempt at the question. To improve this even further you could state whether or not you believe that cars should be banned from major cities. (Your answer implies that you think this but you don't state it explicitly!)

This essay is clearly organised and the points are put into appropriate paragraphs. Be a little careful with your use of contractions (e.g. 'haven't', 'it's') in a discursive essay as this task type needs to be slightly more formal than informal. There are no major language errors here - just some minor ones like word order, the odd spelling mistake or word choice. On the plus side, I like your interesting and ambitious use of language. Do you read a lot of English literature?

Good luck for FCE Writing - let us know how you get on!

Best wishes
Fiona Joseph
31.03.03


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