'; function ShowPopup(){ if (ie3==false){ if (NewWin != null){ if (NewWin.closed == false){ NewWin.close(); } } } var today = new Date; NewName = '' + today.getTime(); NewWin = window.open('', NewName, 'toolbar=no,location=no,directories=no,status=no, menubar=no,scrollbars=yes,resizable=no,,width=300,height=200'); } function ReplaceStuff(Token, Replacement, InString){ var i = InString.indexOf(Token); var FirstBit = ''; var LastBit = ''; while (i>-1){ FirstBit = InString.substring(0, i); LastBit = InString.substring(i + Token.length, InString.length); InString = FirstBit + Replacement + LastBit; i = InString.indexOf(Token); } return InString; } function DoNothing(){} Comments = new Array(); Comments[0]='Good title - this focuses the attention of the reader immediately!'; Comments[1]='I would suggest saying: \'it\'s likely that you will feel a little disoriented at first\''; Comments[2]='Any of the following would be appropriate:
\'has been written/put together/devised\''; Comments[3]='This sounds a little bit strict! What about saying \'before classes begin\'?'; Comments[4]='This is one occasion where it\'s really better to use a phrasal verb, i.e. \'is made up of\'.'; Comments[5]='\'for\''; Comments[6]='I know what you mean but it doesn\'t sound quite right. I suggest \'get the most\''; Comments[7]='\'Each subject has its own corresponding classroom.\''; Comments[8]='Better to say \'Director\'s\''; Comments[9]='Good attempt to keep the tone nice and friendly, but it would be more natural to say \'and surely you'; Comments[9]+=' won\'t make too much noise!\''; Comments[10]='\'students\' or \'users\''; Comments[11]='access \'to\' something'; Comments[12]='This means that YOU want to enjoy the college. If you are addressing the new students then you can s'; Comments[12]+='ay: \'I hope you will enjoy your experience at the college\'.'; Annotations = new Array(); Annotations[4]='Capitalization error'; Annotations[10]='Missing word or words'; Annotations[13]='Wrong or misused preposition'; Annotations[14]='Singular/plural error'; Annotations[21]='Vague reference'; Annotations[24]='Poor word choice'; Annotations[26]='Word order'; Annotations[29]='Yes! I agree.'; Annotations[31]='Well-constructed phrase or sentence'; function WriteFeedback(Stuff, Colour){ var Content = ''; Content += Stuff; Content += ''; var Temp = ReplaceStuff('[strFeedback]', Content, PopupCode); ShowPopup(); NewWin.document.clear(); NewWin.document.open(); NewWin.document.write(Temp); NewWin.document.close(); } function StartUp(){ } function ShowAnn(Type, Number){ if (Type==0){ WriteFeedback(Annotations[Number], NegAnnColour); } else{ WriteFeedback(Annotations[Number], PosAnnColour); } } function ShowComm(Number){ WriteFeedback(Comments[Number-1], CommColour); }
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Writing Paper: Part 2
Task type: A leaflet

Question
You have received the following memo from the head of the place where you are studying.

 

In our last staff meeting we agreed it would be a good idea if you, as our main student representative, could produce an information leaflet to help new students when they arrive. I suggest you explain briefly how classes are organised and then give some practical tips on how they can get the most out of their studies. We'll send the leaflet out before they enrol here.

 

Write the text for the leaflet. (220-260 words)



Answer

Click on the underlined words or phrases for comments. The numbers in brackets offer suggestions. General feedback appears below the essay.

Name: Chiara Rabbiosi

School: The British Council - Milan, Italy

essay: SURVIVAL KIT FOR NEW STUDENTS AT BRIXTON COLLEGE{1}

Welcome everybody! As you are a "new-comer" here it's easy that you feel disoriented{2}. This leaflet is made {3} to help you, so please go through it immediately {4}.

CLASSES AND LESSONS:

each class is constituted by {5} about 20 students. Lessons last 50 minutes each, with a 10 min break between them. Lessons are Mon. to Fri. beginning at 8.20 am to 3pm with a lunch break from 12.20 to 1 pm. Please be punctual at {6} the lessons: not only will you show respect to the teacher and your classmates but also you will take more advantage {7} from the lesson.

Any subject correspond a classroom {8} - you will have to move for any lesson to the appropriate room. This makes the room to be a real laboratory (e.g. of French) and the students are invited to stick on the walls anything concerning that subject.

STUDY FACILITIES

We have a furnished library and a computer laboratory.

The library (Mon. to Fri. 8am - 5pm) is on the main floor next to the Director{9} Office (and surely you won't speak aloud!).{10}

As you entered the college as a student, you are automatically a member. You can take as many as three books and have to return them in three weeks. Also keep an eye on the board at the entrance: you will find notice for student meetings or lectures.

The computer lab. is at the 2nd foor (disabled {***} {11} have access at {12} the one in room 12 on the main floor). You can have access whenever you want to and it's free of charge, but if you want to be sure to find a place you can book it one day in advance.

I wish to enjoy the college {13} : college years are supposed to be the best ones!!

Chiara Rabbiosi

Student Representative Commitee


Feedback

The layout and organisation (title, headings) of this leaflet are very good. It is also a nicely written essay that is packed full of good advice about how to help new students settle in. You are successful in achieving just the right tone - friendly, welcoming and not too formal.
For the makeover, I have concentrated on rewriting some of your words and phrases to make them sound more natural to a native-speaker. Happy reading and good luck for the CAE!

Fiona Joseph
20.11.00

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Other Answers

Stephanie Braun

Dear new student, welcome to the English School!
I know you have many unanswered questions. In order to answer most of them, read this information leaflet: it provides useful information for you!

The class and the timetable:
About twelve students are together in one class.The lessons are thaught by two teachers. Your main teacher teaches grammer, pronunciation and listening from 9.15 to 11 a.m. Then there is a break of half an hour. At 11.30 a.m. the class practices reading and extends the vocabulary with its second teacher. When the clock strikes 1 o`clock the lunch break starts. It lasts until 2 p.m. and there is time enough for a good lunch. In the afternoon lesson your main teacher exercises the writing and speaking skills until 3.30 p.m.

How to get the most out of your studies:
There are some additional possibilities to impove your English
*Labaratory
From 3.30 to 5.30 p.m. the labaratory in the basement of the building is open. You can listen to tapes which are colour marked after different difficulty-levels. In addition, there are two TVs you can watch films with.Also, often some classmates do their homework together on a long table and there is always one teacher of the school there to help if somebody has a particular difficulty.
*Conversation Club
On Wensday and Friday afternoon is from 3.30 to 4.30 p.m. the Conversation Club. About 6 to 9 students join together and discuss an interesting topic with a teacher.This is great fun and a good opportunity to improve your speaking. The meeting point is in the sitting room, but it is mostly held in a near pub.

Social programme:
During the week there is on two evenings an organised social programme. Many students come together to watch a movie, play a quiz, visit the theatre or play different kinds of sports. Also, on Saturday an excursion is organised to a beautiful place in the countryside. The information about the current events is given on the information board in the sitting room.

I hope this information leaflet gave you some practical advice. For further information go to the office in the first floor. Mr.Benton will answer all your questions with pleasure.



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