Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CAE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
You have read the following information from a British university, and have decided to apply for a course:
|The university welcomes applications to all its courses from overseas students. Please write to the Admissions Officer giving details of the course you wish to apply for and why. Your letter should include an outline of your qualifications and any other relevant information.|
Write your letter of application. (Around 220-260 words)
Read Jolanta's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
Dear Mr. Admission Officer, WW
I am writing to apply for your two year degree in teaching English at university level. At present I am a teacher of English and of the -
I am keen to improve my English as this is not only my hobby but also a strong need. In addition, I feel half-way to achieve the goal. PE
I am particularly interested in completing /\
I hope you will give my application serious consideration and I look forward to hearing from you. Gd
You have provided a full and very thoughtful response to the task. You have outlined your views of the benefits of these two websites, explaining why you use them and what you like about them. The reader would be fully informed of your opinions.
A good command of the conventions of a review of this kind is demonstrated. Ideas are communicated clearly. The style adopted is suitably neutral. You could have considered using more in the way of contractions to create an informal tone, but this is a matter of choice rather than a problem.
The review is a well organised, coherent whole, using a range of cohesive devices and organisational patterns. Paragraphs are used effectively. Relative clauses are used well to link ideas and interest is maintained by using a variety of sentence lengths.
You've used a range of vocabulary appropriately and simple and more complex grammatical forms with a good degree of control. Very few errors, which do not impede communication. Most of these are vocabulary-based. Note the following:
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
PE Poorly expressed
SS Sentence Structure
T Tip (Not wrong but a suggestion)
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word