Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CAE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
You class has watched a documentary about the need for nations to fund space exploration. You have made the notes below:
Advantages of spending public money on space exploration:
Some opinions expressed in the documentary:
Write an essay discussing TWO of the advantages given for space exploration in your notes You should explain which reason is most important, giving reasons in support of your answer.
You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the documentary, but you should use your own words as far as possible. (around 220-260 words)
Read Elena's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
Funding the space exploration and its priorities -
For many years, people had a dream about space voyages. Such significant events as the first human space flight, /\
Nowadays, the International Space Station has become the main platform for scientific discoveries and the science lab where scientists from many countries do their collaborative work. It is not only the celestial bodies that are being observed by an international body of scientists but also experiments. For many scientists the only place where exact results could be achieved is this space laboratory. Without a doubt, this is the question WW
One of the greatest advantages of the International Space Station is that it accepts space tourists. A few space travelers have already been there. This fact draws our attention to another benefit of space exploration. It is the strong possibility of life in space, which we have seen before in science fiction movies, where people did interstellar trips taking space crafts like we take trains, buses or taxis. While it is true that people need more space for living, we shouldn’t forget that the main problem is unequal density of population on our planet. Some regions are very overcrowded whereas the -
Having weighted WF
This is a good essay, Elena. You have answered the question fully, organised your ideas clearly and written in an appropriate semi-formal style. Your use of English is very accurate and you’ve used some excellent vocabulary and sentence constructions.
I would be careful of going too far over the word limit. 20, 30, 40 words is no problem but at 365 words this was 100 words over. Examiners wouldn’t necessarily penalise this but one of the things you’re being assessed on is being able to organise your thoughts in such a way that you are able to keep to the word limit, more or less. Having said that, the main thing is that what you write is completely appropriate to the task and what you’ve written here is - but do try to keep closer to the word limit.
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
PE Poorly expressed
SS Sentence Structure
T Tip (Not wrong but a suggestion)
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word