Check out students' answers to Flo-Joe's CAE Writing tasks with a teacher's feedback
Your class has watched a documentary about the decline in the number of local buildings with an historic interest. You have made the notes below:
Factors behind the decline include:
Some opinions expressed in the documentary:
Write an essay discussing TWO of the reasons given for the decline in such buildings in your notes. You should explain which factor is more important, giving reasons in support of your answer.
You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the documentary, but you should use your own words as far as possible. (around 220-260 words)
Read Joy's answer to this question below. Try correcting the piece of writing yourself first: use the marking codes to think about what might be wrong (or what's good) about the piece of work. Then when you're ready, click the green buttons in the text for our feedback.
The latest studies show that there is a decrease
The most significant reason for this decline is the increasing demand of WW
As already mentioned, a second factor is surely the lack of money provided to preserve the historical buildings. Instead of restoring old houses, people in charge decide to take them away and build something totally new which is cheaper and therefore a big advantage at first glance. Gd
What most people seem to forget Gd
A very good response to the task, Joy. This is just what the question asked for: you’ve discussed two of the points listed and picked the one you think is the most important. You've included your own views and expressed these in your own words. The style is suitable for an essay, it’s well organised and your use of English, including grammar and vocabulary is good.
There were only a few mistakes:
/\ Word(s) missing
- Omit word
PE Poorly expressed
SS Sentence Structure
T Tip (Not wrong but a suggestion)
WF Wrong form
WO Word order
WT Wrong tense
WW Wrong word