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Writing Paper: Part 2
Task type: A brochure

Question
Your boss has asked you to write the draft of a brochure that will be given to new employees at your place of work.

 


Following our meeting last week on how to help new members of staff settle in, can you put together some ideas for a brochure called 'Information for new employees'.

Please let me have your draft by tomorrow.

 

Write the text for the brochure. (220-260 words)



Answer

Click on the underlined words or phrases for comments. The numbers in brackets offer suggestions. General feedback appears below the essay.

Name: Olga

Information for new employees

Welcome to "Bryntzaloff-Ferrain", a company that has been the leader in {***} {1} pharmaceutical industry for the last 100 years. As owing to the high quality of our products millions of people in our country trust us, contribution made by members of our personnel would be highly appreciated by both our compatriots and Board of directors of the company{2}.

In the unlikely event of that any problems occur{3}, our managing director or his assistants will be glad to settle the incident before long {4}.

In accordance with major health regulations, in our company {***} working day begins at 9 a.m. and finishes at 5 p.m. Employees are not encouraged to work over the established limits, as it may have a harmful effect on general health and, consequently, on the performance of the former {5} in their working place. Nevertheless, if additional working time is considered crucial by the individual concerned, these hours are to be paid two times an employee hourly rate{6}.

Due to the fact that manufacturing medicaments is closely connected with sanitary requirements, an aseptic and hygienic {7} uniform is available from a caretaker and should being worn at all times.

In case of illness please give a notification to {8} a manager of the department you are absent from. A medical certificate should be obtained from our Medical Centre.

The human resource department is responsible for considering permissions for a leave{9}.

We hope that the information presented in the above brochure will be of service {10} for new members of our team. Should any assistance be needed, please do not hesitate to contact the Human Resource Department.

Assistant of {11} Senior Manager of Human Resource Department

Olga Nguyen (Ms)


Feedback

This brochure is full of useful information for employees, Olga. It has been organised appropriately - don't forget that you can also use subheadings in this type of task if you wish, although it is not obligatory. You achieve a consistently formal register throughout, which is good.

I have reworded some of your clauses where they are in danger of becoming too complex (and therefore prone to the odd error!) and corrected a couple of article and vocabulary slips.
On the whole, however, this is another good piece. Thanks for sending it in!

Best wishes
Fiona Joseph
30.1.01

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